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Wednesday, April 21, 2010


Tomorrow is the day!  Ive been super nervous all day.  My tummy has been doing little flips and flops.  Im thinking too much about it.  I think the thing that gets me the most is that this is an optional surgery.  Ive had surgery in the past, but they have all been necessary and this is elective.  I am choosing to put myself on that OR table tomorrow.  In my brain I know everything will be just fine.   When I think logically I know everything will be just fine.  Im hugging my kids a whole extra lot today, though.  

Im the first case of the day..yippee...no tired surgeons for me!  That means I need to be there at 0600.  It also means I should be home by 1300.  My sister is coming with me in the morning and my Mom will swap with her a little later.  Then home to my husband while my Mom takes the kids for the night.( I have the best Mom and sister in the entire world!! )  Ive chosen to leave my husband at home tomorrow  :o)  He gets nervous about such things, but his way of dealing with his nervousness is to nit pick everything.  "This is taking to long, don't they know what they are doing, why did they have to poke you 3 times"....and on and on and on.  And that just puts me more on edge....so Im leaving him home!!  And I feel better knowing he is with the kiddos anyway. 

I picked up lots of protein drinks today.  Its a liquid diet for the first week, while my stomach is healing.     I had mac and cheese for dinner and Im shortly going to have a piece of cheesecake.  Giotta go out with a bang right!!  Next week while Im at my wits end with liquid, liquid, liquid, Ill be able to think back to the cheesecake and longingly remember our amazing, but brief relationship.

So Im going to log off here,  get my cheesecake, savor every last bite of it, lay in bed with my husband and watch a little TV, read to the kiddos and go to sleep.  I see a little Benedryl in my future tonight.  I may not be able to sleep without it.  Dang, nerves!   Then up at 430am, my sister  will pick me up while I shoot daggers at her with my eyes as she savors her Starbucks on the ride to the hospital and I will be drooling in the seat next to her.  

It is all worth it.  This is my big step to being the healthiest me I can be.  For myself and for my children.  They deserve the healthiest me and I deserve the healthiest me.  I need a little help.  I have asked for it.  I have taken the steps and I am ready for tomorrow!

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